OUT ON A LIMB

by Al Mansfield

“Could you pray with us and give us some word from the Lord for our marriage?”

The young married couple standing before us spoke perfect English. Noteworthy because we were in the middle of Slovakia, where my wife Patti and I had been invited to give a retreat for priests and a Day of Renewal for Catholic Charismatic Renewal leaders. We were impressed by the number of young adults who were committed to the Lord in a country which had suffered under atheistic communism for over 40 years.

I admired this young couple for having the humility and courage to ask for prayer and direction. They were, in a sense, going “out on a limb.” Patti and I did pray for them, and I went “out on a limb” myself and made bold to give them a “word” for their marriage. As risky as it might be to offer marital advice, I shared with them the following:

1.     SEEK THE LORD ABOVE ALL ELSE. Be committed to the Lord individually and as a couple. Don’t be so over-confident as to think that marriage is something you can do in your own power. Have the humility (and good sense) to admit your need for the Lord and ask for his help. Keep his word and obey his commands. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” And Psalm 127:1 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the workmen labor in vain.” Unless the Lord builds the marriage, we toil in vain.

2.     PRAY TOGETHER DAILY. How you pray together is not as important as that you pray together. I think there is a real truth to the adage, “the couple, or family, that prays together, stays together.” Individual prayer is important, for sure, but prayer as a couple is equally so, I believe.

3.     SPEAK RESPECTFULLY TO EACH OTHER AND ABOUT EACH OTHER. Watch your tongue (see James 1:26; 3:2-12). Speak respectfully to each other, even (and especially) when you disagree – and you certainly will! Just as importantly, speak in a respectful way about your spouse whether he or she is present or not. Compete with one another and outdo one another – in showing honor and respect (see Romans 12:10).

4.     ADOPT AN ATTITUDE OF SERVICE. Jesus came to serve, not to be served (see Matt. 20:28; Mark 10:45). Actively seek out ways to be of service. Don’t keep score of who does more. Here again, outdo one another - that is, each spouse should try to do more than their share.

I said I was going “out on a limb” in sharing these words. Why? Because I am conscious of my own weakness and shortcomings in marriage as well as in everything else! However, I am convinced of the above words of advice, and I think I can truthfully say that we have continued to make efforts to practice them in our own marriage.

Because of original sin, marriage is difficult. Two different (fallen) human beings sharing their lives with one another completely and exclusively “until death do us part” – a challenging prospect! There is a great need for God’s grace – every day in every way.

So, I gave this advice to the Slovakian couple, to our own married children, and to other married couples as well. Now I am going “out on a limb” and sharing it with you. Let us pray for one another in marriage that we all can, with the Lord’s help, live out the high calling of matrimony.